DEMOLITION ENGINEER

Let’s bulldoze that monstrosity

Ignore the animosity

It doesn’t matter what the rabble think

Just strip it of its glory

Despite all the furore

We’ll make a pile of bricks in just a blink

Then after it’s been flattened

And Council’s coffers fattened

We’ll build some tiny modern maisonettes

And sell them to first-timers

And local poor old-timers

Who can’t afford a house or are in debt

Remember, we’ve no morals

We’ll not get into quarrels

About the closure of a useful site

We’re here to make some money

Whether wet or sunny

We don’t care what’s wrong or what is right

Uh, oh, here come the writers

I hear they’re quite good fighters

We’d better call the police to keep control

‘Cos we work to a deadline

And can’t afford the headline

‘Creative Writers buried in a hole

THE RED KITE - PREDATOR AND PREY

Out of the clouds came a wondrous creation;

Soaring above me, as if heavenbound;

With feathers outfanned and without any motion;

Searching for prey in the fields that surround.

Hushed is my breath as I gaze up toward her;

Thankful am I to have witnessed this sight;

High in the sky, she faces no danger;

She’s dancing with clouds, so majestic in flight.

But she cannot know the threat that awaits her;

As downward she swoops, having spotted her prey;

Silently watching, I cannot protect her;

And only God knows whether th

When poison awaits in the gamekeeper’s bait;

Please, Lord, let me have a say in her fate.

BUTCHERS 

Blood, blood, glorious blood!

There’s nothing quite like it – it’s better than mud.

Guts, guts, glorious guts!

Dangling around me, here’s some for the mutt.

Here’s Mrs Baker, she seems quite well fed,

Her husband likes faggots, while she likes sweetbreads,

There’s little Tommy, who’s sucking his thumb,

Looking around him – I think he’s lost mum.

But problems are looming, I’ll give you a clue –

Now here in Britain is bloody bird flu!

I know what will happen, the birds will be culled,

The shelves will be emptied, the stock will be pulled.

I thought it was over, we got through mad cow,

And salmonella – Edwina knew how.

Then came disaster, they found foot and mouth,

Carcasses burning, from north to the south.

What next, I must wonder, it might be wild duck?

We butchers aren’t bothered – we don’t give a damn!